Scarlet Letters

Dear red box,

You are the beginning.

My pen just stopped writing, and it's affecting my brain
It's a labyrinth. I can see corners. It's a haze
Pain, pain. Blooded pain.

Tears and rain
Fears and pain
I'll spew you out, I have patronized you too long. I'm patriotic but not this time
I've packed my bags, called the moving van. I'm moving out of your town.

                                                  * * *
I picked up a pad, you know, the one we got that friday evening after you picked me up from work. I smiled and waved it in your direction. It was going to bear my gains...
Purple, yellow, flower, green. Sticks and stones, a dog, a bone
This book is recording my pain
That pain in my gut...
I shake my head, tendrils fall. I can't shake you off
I spit out the window. The bitter taste remains
My tears dignify your existence.

Dew, cock crow, sunshine and moon
Pain, pain. Blooded pain
Cloud, lightning, thunder and rain
Pain, pain. Blooded pain
A cool breeze, before the wind that brought about the storm that rocked the boat
You don't deserve this!

You are the beginning, and you are the end!

Tears and pain
Fears and rain
Wash away...
Unashamed.

Goodnight To Love

The sound of my heart: like the beat of a festival drum
Like half a dozen mommy elephants stomping the yard
It aches and it tickles
It's awkward
It's the way loneliness feels.

My heart now feels the chill of the night
The cloak is gone
Half a swans neck
I stand alone.

Incoherent thumping
I know this feeling
I remember it from 5months ago
Wow, has it been just 5months?
When broken promises had pricked my heart
And with gentle kisses you tried to heal it.

*sigh*
Dang. I'm  rambling
Did I think this would be my style only 5months after?
Oooh lolu see what you have turned me into?
I'm now like the village town crier
Playing this gong in my heart
Because no one else must hear of my misery
They all warned me of the timing uno
"isn't it too soon?" Tolani had asked me, her voice pregnant with concern
But I was sure of this one this time around. I had assured her.

Oh Tolani, come and hold my hand
Give me your shoulder lemme cry on
Cry with me, this pain is heavy for my heart alone

"Heart aches, how my heart aches" the song is on replay in my head
I yearn for our "happy days"

*unstable heart beats*

I guess the night has come for us Lolu
And it's time for me to say goodnight.

Goodnight, Lolu. 😣

Woe Betide Me

Woe betide me!

That I open my mouth n call you a filthy pig
Even though at midnight, while I lay still with my eyes shut (or so you thought)
You creeped out of bed like a thief in the night
Your act in stealth perfected
You open her door just a creek like an alarm
She laying there, awaiting

This had become a custom
You, her, every other night, when you fools thought me asleep
Those other nights, I had wondered why you stayed so long in the bathroom
Why you stayed so long in the kitchen
Why you stayed so long in the living room
And then I had drifted back to sleep, like an overworked woman needing "these hours of sleep"

Woe betide me
That I call you and your harlot "the devils angels"
When every other night, I put down your longing and desire for my juices
And let you alone while you lay stiff hungry
Because I was the overworked breadwinner who needed "these hours of sleep"

#BrownGirl

When I was a girl,
I wore a thousand lives
In and out of searching for the thing that makes me feel alright
Ten black moments in my room
Diamond shimmers from the moon

Ten different shades of "I love you"
Then I was the girl you would woo

Ten golden rings like the sun
"oh he really loves me" I coulda sworn

Ten soft forehead kisses one day
Then the other, me. Alone. In a corner. Mourning in misery.


Now I'm a grown girl.
Pretty in my skin
Scrolls and chapters of this life that has become mine
Drops of crystal rain on my skin
Because rather than sit in wait for the storm to be over
I learned to sing and dance in the rain.